Does anyone REALLY talk like that? Hell No! So don't put it in your commercials!
I submit to you, the following...
V1 I'm sick & tired of not being able to get high speed internet where I live
V2 Haven't you heard about Satellite Speed Internet? It's coming soon from (XXX), our local authorized local service provider.
V1 No, but I'm sure it's not available where I live, nothing ever is.
V2 No, really. It's available virtually everywhere...and it's available from (XXX) so you know you'll get good service.
V1 Yeah, but how fast is it & how much is it going to cost me?
V2 Speeds up to 30 times faster than dial-up and for $49.99 a month from what I've heard.
V1 Man, I'll give (XXX) a call & get the scoop.
V2 Well slow down there buddy, I said it's coming. (XXX XXXXX) will be available mid to late August, but you should call them for more details
V1 OK man, this sounds like the solution I've been waiting for!
This copy was given to us by TWO local retailers who are going to offer this service in the next few months. It was written by the service's advertising agency who was no doubt paid a lot of money to "create" it. And it won't do $#!t for them. Why? Because no two human beings have ever had this conversation before. Ever. Never. Too many commercials are written as dialog without anyone ever asking "why?" Why does this have to be a dialog? Now, occasionally, dialog works. Comedy. REAL dialog (a recording of 2 people just talking for instance, not scripted). But "advertising" like this screams to a listener "HOW DID HIS BUDDY KNOW ABOUT THIS SERVICE THAT'S NOT EVEN AVAILABLE YET? HOW DID THIS GUY KNOW THE PHONE NUMBER BY HEART? WHY DIDN'T THE FIRST GUY PUNCH HIS BUDDY IN THE NOSE FOR BEING SUCH A SMARTASS? THIS IS A COMMERCIAL AND I'M NOT GOING TO LISTEN ANYMORE."
Do yourself a favor, do your listeners a favor...and for God's Sake, do your BUSINESS a favor: advertise convincingly. You've got 15 or 30 or 60 seconds of my attention, you'd better say something I care about. If not, you didn't lose me...you never had me in the first place.
V1 I'm sick & tired of not being able to get high speed internet where I live
V2 Haven't you heard about Satellite Speed Internet? It's coming soon from (XXX), our local authorized local service provider.
V1 No, but I'm sure it's not available where I live, nothing ever is.
V2 No, really. It's available virtually everywhere...and it's available from (XXX) so you know you'll get good service.
V1 Yeah, but how fast is it & how much is it going to cost me?
V2 Speeds up to 30 times faster than dial-up and for $49.99 a month from what I've heard.
V1 Man, I'll give (XXX) a call & get the scoop.
V2 Well slow down there buddy, I said it's coming. (XXX XXXXX) will be available mid to late August, but you should call them for more details
V1 OK man, this sounds like the solution I've been waiting for!
This copy was given to us by TWO local retailers who are going to offer this service in the next few months. It was written by the service's advertising agency who was no doubt paid a lot of money to "create" it. And it won't do $#!t for them. Why? Because no two human beings have ever had this conversation before. Ever. Never. Too many commercials are written as dialog without anyone ever asking "why?" Why does this have to be a dialog? Now, occasionally, dialog works. Comedy. REAL dialog (a recording of 2 people just talking for instance, not scripted). But "advertising" like this screams to a listener "HOW DID HIS BUDDY KNOW ABOUT THIS SERVICE THAT'S NOT EVEN AVAILABLE YET? HOW DID THIS GUY KNOW THE PHONE NUMBER BY HEART? WHY DIDN'T THE FIRST GUY PUNCH HIS BUDDY IN THE NOSE FOR BEING SUCH A SMARTASS? THIS IS A COMMERCIAL AND I'M NOT GOING TO LISTEN ANYMORE."
Do yourself a favor, do your listeners a favor...and for God's Sake, do your BUSINESS a favor: advertise convincingly. You've got 15 or 30 or 60 seconds of my attention, you'd better say something I care about. If not, you didn't lose me...you never had me in the first place.
posted by John Hammer at 6:11 PM
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